Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
Okay~!
Well, few days ago I did something uncharacteristic
of myself… that is to post a comment on a friend’s blog — specifically,
touching on a topic that is not "pleasing to the ears"…
of myself… that is to post a comment on a friend’s blog — specifically,
touching on a topic that is not "pleasing to the ears"…
Normally I’d just give such things a cursory
glance, sigh… keep quiet and then just move on to other things… so
initially I had planned not to comment… just
sit on the fence and observe, so to speak… but after no small amount of deliberation, despite my fears, I decided that
alright, there are some issues that I need to voice out on…
glance, sigh… keep quiet and then just move on to other things… so
initially I had planned not to comment… just
sit on the fence and observe, so to speak… but after no small amount of deliberation, despite my fears, I decided that
alright, there are some issues that I need to voice out on…
Reason is mostly because I feel that certain values
seem to be viewed more trivially ..perhaps this happens when society becomes too
complicated and tough to care.. thus I voiced out my disagreement, spurred
by mine and others’ unpleasant experience with less-than-sterling examples of
the system (with a gnawing gut feeling that by doing this, may lead to more
trouble than it’s worth)
seem to be viewed more trivially ..perhaps this happens when society becomes too
complicated and tough to care.. thus I voiced out my disagreement, spurred
by mine and others’ unpleasant experience with less-than-sterling examples of
the system (with a gnawing gut feeling that by doing this, may lead to more
trouble than it’s worth)
Unfortunately, the reader took it as a personal
attack and responded as such… instead of opening up a discussion to see things
on another angle, instead, ad-hominem remarks came flowing in… Probably I am
used to discussions in which disagreement is explained patiently with reason (I
am fortunate that I get much of this kind of conversations both in my local area
and on-line, nowadays.) But when things get personal and ugly right from
the start, the most peaceful solution would be to take the initiative not to
continue, not to have the last word, thus ending the
situation from getting uglier than it already is, more so especially among
friends.
attack and responded as such… instead of opening up a discussion to see things
on another angle, instead, ad-hominem remarks came flowing in… Probably I am
used to discussions in which disagreement is explained patiently with reason (I
am fortunate that I get much of this kind of conversations both in my local area
and on-line, nowadays.) But when things get personal and ugly right from
the start, the most peaceful solution would be to take the initiative not to
continue, not to have the last word, thus ending the
situation from getting uglier than it already is, more so especially among
friends.
I would agree that what I said can’t be described
as "palatable". But simply put, there is "no good way to put bad news" as one of
my friends eloquently puts it. I’d describe what I said to be a lamentation of
the way certain things are, the way certain (challenges) are seen, when it
doesn’t have the be that way; rather than a
fault-finding exercise or attack on the character of the person involved. I do
not deny though, that it could be easily seen as such; however, if I had made a
fault here, I would say that it was because I was not clear enough with the
expression of ideas. But then again, there’s only so much information that one
can encode in words. "Our expression is bounded by the limitations of language"
or something like that I’ve heard before. Nevermind, I’ll learn and improve from
there.
as "palatable". But simply put, there is "no good way to put bad news" as one of
my friends eloquently puts it. I’d describe what I said to be a lamentation of
the way certain things are, the way certain (challenges) are seen, when it
doesn’t have the be that way; rather than a
fault-finding exercise or attack on the character of the person involved. I do
not deny though, that it could be easily seen as such; however, if I had made a
fault here, I would say that it was because I was not clear enough with the
expression of ideas. But then again, there’s only so much information that one
can encode in words. "Our expression is bounded by the limitations of language"
or something like that I’ve heard before. Nevermind, I’ll learn and improve from
there.
What I want to say is that certain decisions are
hard to make, but things like endurance, altruism, caring, empathy, selflessness
etc etc. : These qualities are hard to achieve and apply and there’s no test for
them and no certificate of appreciation, but it’s precisely this that make these
intangible qualities all the most precious. Anyone can make the simple choice to
choose other more important things and not to cultivate these qualities but
those who do, those who go the extra mile, are worthy of our
respect.
hard to make, but things like endurance, altruism, caring, empathy, selflessness
etc etc. : These qualities are hard to achieve and apply and there’s no test for
them and no certificate of appreciation, but it’s precisely this that make these
intangible qualities all the most precious. Anyone can make the simple choice to
choose other more important things and not to cultivate these qualities but
those who do, those who go the extra mile, are worthy of our
respect.
Got ticked off (meaning = ‘told’, not ‘pissed off’) that I was ‘marked’ for
’scrutinity’… (Just got the impression that this was expressed to me solely as
a tit-for-tat thing, rather than anything else, unfortunately.)
’scrutinity’… (Just got the impression that this was expressed to me solely as
a tit-for-tat thing, rather than anything else, unfortunately.)
But regardless of the underlying motive — the
important thing is that I see this as a strong reminder for me to double my
commitment to a higher level of vigillance and alertness… Even when nobody’s
looking, I conscientiously strive to grow in these aspects, now coupled with
this, it serves as added impetus which helps me in aspiring to a higher level of
improvement.
important thing is that I see this as a strong reminder for me to double my
commitment to a higher level of vigillance and alertness… Even when nobody’s
looking, I conscientiously strive to grow in these aspects, now coupled with
this, it serves as added impetus which helps me in aspiring to a higher level of
improvement.
So, in conclusion, I’m glad that I voiced out — although it wasn’t a pleasant experience (probably for both parties), but it did help me to arrange my
thoughts and double my effort in self-cultivation. At least, it provided a test of my capacity for self-examination.
thoughts and double my effort in self-cultivation. At least, it provided a test of my capacity for self-examination.
So I would say — I’m glad I spoke out, otherwise, I’ll never have improved from my current level.
To the friend who’s reading this (if you are) — No
hard feelings from me.
hard feelings from me.
Of course though, whether you could feel the same
way — that is up to you.
way — that is up to you.
I still consider you as a friend (never
doubted)
doubted)
But it’s a two-way street — it’s your
choice.
choice.
Okay, I haven’t been back to the friend’s blog
since my last (= 3rd) comment there which was supposed to (hopefully) put out
the fire (in fact I surprised myself that I managed to have
the willpower to do so, when I thought I couldn’t last a day without doing so).
I don’t intend to, as I don’t want to end up making this the kind of drama that
you see a lot on Internet (usually in forums, etc.) which just ends up as other
peoples’ entertainment as ’schadenfraude’. Perhaps, I don’t hold the correct
paper qualification, to be able to have a say anyway. Better, to let the other
have the last word, for the sake of peace.
since my last (= 3rd) comment there which was supposed to (hopefully) put out
the fire (in fact I surprised myself that I managed to have
the willpower to do so, when I thought I couldn’t last a day without doing so).
I don’t intend to, as I don’t want to end up making this the kind of drama that
you see a lot on Internet (usually in forums, etc.) which just ends up as other
peoples’ entertainment as ’schadenfraude’. Perhaps, I don’t hold the correct
paper qualification, to be able to have a say anyway. Better, to let the other
have the last word, for the sake of peace.
It is time to devote time to more constructive
things in one’s immediate environment.
things in one’s immediate environment.
